The proud (future) mommy & daddy thread

Tankman

Well-Known Member
#1
I saw a thread like this on a Dutch forum I used to visit and thought it would be nice to hear from you guys.

My wife and I are currently expecting our first child. Her due date is the 5th of January and we already know it will be a boy. It was completely planned, but we never expected her being pregnant after only 2 months of trying. We are currently having a great time preparing for our baby, shopping and thinking of how to handle things and dreaming about what our child will be like and what he will grow up to be like.

I'm curious to hear all of your stories. Go nuts!
 
#3
Congrats man! Exciting times ahead especially! Baby’s first guitar being part of the planning I’m assuming?

My advice as a non-parent would be don’t worry too much about raising a child (I’m convinced nobody actually knows what they’re doing and still most do it plenty fine instintictively) but also about possibilities of the kid eventually hurting him-/herself (over-protected unicorns is the last the world needs). You’ll do fine!
 
Last edited:

Tankman

Well-Known Member
#7
My advice as a non-parent would be don’t worry too much about raising a child (I’m convinced nobody actually knows what they’re doing and still most do it plenty fine instintictively) but also about possibilities of the kid eventually hurting him-/herself (over-protected unicorns is the last the world needs). You’ll do fine!
I am very much convinced that I have no idea what I'm doing and I do not think that feeling will change and I am perfectly fine with that. It's funny you mention this, because just last week I was thinking the same thing. I think most parents have no clue and just wing it. The ones that think they have a clue have the most F'ed up kids I've seen.
 

bad alice

Easily distracted and...OHLOOKAGUITAR!!!
#8
I’ve never raised a child
But like most folk here I was one;)
I completely echo what fellow non parent @Rick says and would add the two “Cs”; consistency and continuity
Looking back at my own (happy!) childhood the bad parts were always about uncertainty and anxiety/fear at not knowing what to expect
Eg I could do something pretty bad - break my bed from jumping on it like a lunatic:) - and it was brushed aside but then getting SCREAMED at for spilling some orange juice on the breakfast bar.
We all feel security in knowing where the lines are in life and kids even more so.
I’m sure you’ll be a great Dad @Tankman and starting from saying you know sod all about how to be one bodes well!
There’s a huge and exciting journey ahead for you and Mrs Tankman when Baby Tankman arrives:hug:
Be sure to pack snacks and wet wipes
And grab some shut eye when you can...
:D
 

Tankman

Well-Known Member
#9
I’ve never raised a child
But like most folk here I was one;)
I completely echo what fellow non parent @Rick says and would add the two “Cs”; consistency and continuity
Looking back at my own (happy!) childhood the bad parts were always about uncertainty and anxiety/fear at not knowing what to expect
Eg I could do something pretty bad - break my bed from jumping on it like a lunatic:) - and it was brushed aside but then getting SCREAMED at for spilling some orange juice on the breakfast bar.
We all feel security in knowing where the lines are in life and kids even more so.
I’m sure you’ll be a great Dad @Tankman and starting from saying you know sod all about how to be one bodes well!
There’s a huge and exciting journey ahead for you and Mrs Tankman when Baby Tankman arrives:hug:
Be sure to pack snacks and wet wipes
And grab some shut eye when you can...
:D
Thanks for the kind words!

My colleagues hate it when make this comparison, but I do have experience raising puppies/dogs. With dogs, the most important thing is the two C's you mention. If you are not consistent with a dog, it will just never understand what your want from it and it will act out. The hard part is making sure Mrs Tankman is on the same page as I am with this, which we are, but we need to communicate in order for it to work. When Baby Tankman, or Tankboy arrives, I think we can take our experience in raising dogs and apply it in that sense.

My drummer is actually expecting his first child this week and a colleague of mine became a father for the first time just a few years ago. They've shared their experiences. Both say they had no idea what they were doing. I have to say, in the Netherlands things are very well organized for pregnant couples. We really only have to show up for our appointments with our midwife and ultrasounds etc. and they arrange everything else for us. We need to focus on getting Tankboy's room ready for which we got a checklist. The rest just happens.
 

Magnus Pym

Grudges rot the soul
#11
Congrats, man. January babies are the best.
Be prepared for you child to grow up resenting that they birthday parties are always in bad weather and none of their friends have any money to out to celebrate. Apart from that... Congratulations. I would say
1. Don't listen to the doom mongers who say it gets worse as they get older.
2. Fix these good time in your mind and try to remember ithem through the roller-coaster that will be January, February and March.
 

Tankman

Well-Known Member
#12
Be prepared for you child to grow up resenting that they birthday parties are always in bad weather and none of their friends have any money to out to celebrate. Apart from that... Congratulations. I would say
1. Don't listen to the doom mongers who say it gets worse as they get older.
2. Fix these good time in your mind and try to remember ithem through the roller-coaster that will be January, February and March.
I live in the Netherlands. It's mostly bad weather here, outside of these last few weeks.

Thanks for the advice. I'm really not one to panic or worry. I let things happen as they happen, I go with the flow and adjust where necessary. It is what it is. I do like to be prepared in detail, which is probably why I don't worry so much.
 

Tankman

Well-Known Member
#14
That they are!:bounce:
Pro tip: never EVER give your son his Xmas pressie and then, when his January birthday comes round, say “see that Xmas pressieI gave you? Yeah? Well, that was really your birthday present too...”
Not that my elder brother ever pulled that shit on me.
God no.
:rolleyes:
Shouldn't I just get half the Xmas list for Xmas, and give him the rest on his birthday? :D
 

ScutMonkey

Well-Known Member
#17
I've done a fair bit of research on how to be a good parent and how to raise successful kids. Here is what I've discovered. There are a ton of ways to raise your child to be successful and the only common denominator is to be present as a parent. Help them with homework, talk to their teachers, be a part of their activities, read to them at bed time, long talks about complicated subjects.

It's simple and incredibly hard. What makes parenthood difficult is subtle though. "It's a marathon, not a sprint" isn't even accurate. From the day your child is born, you are a parent forever. There are no days off, no sick days, no holidays, no breaks, and no graduation from being a parent. You are a parent until they put you in the ground.

But I love it. I'm insanely annoying about it. If you get me started on my kids, I won't stop talking.
 

Chili Hobbes

So much time, and so little to do.
#18
My advice as a non-parent would be don’t worry too much about raising a child (I’m convinced nobody actually knows what they’re doing and still most do it plenty fine instintictively) You’ll do fine!
As a father of 4, I can say this is pretty much spot on.

With my first kid, my daughter who was 4 lb 4 oz when she was born, my wife and I were meticulous. We had a diary where we recorded how much milk she drank to the microlitre, we timed every time she slept, we had amazingly expensive bottle warmers, sterilizers, you name it. For number 4, we ran his bottles under a tap to clean them, and warmed it in our armpits as we carried him around. Only one was breast fed, and if anything hes the weakest of the lot. There are no rules.

Basically, all you can do is your best. Yes it messes with your sleep, yes it kills your social life more or less, I honestly cant remember. All I remember is the good stuff, and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me (only 1 of 4 was planned (No.3!) I never plan anything!).

You're going to love it, they're very entertaining and new babies smell great (that's not sarcasm. Dirty nappies aside, they smell fantastic, it must be the soap/shampoo/clothes or something).
 

Tankman

Well-Known Member
#19
@Chili Hobbes , great advice. We are not going crazy on gadgets like heaters and sterilizers when you have a stove, running water and a pan. My wife does want to try breastfeeding and see if it works for her and the baby. If not, formula is fine.

You can really only plan so much. We planned in the sense that we stopped using birth control. We never planned for it to take withing such a short period of time. We heard people saying when a woman stops with birth control pills, sometimes it takes up to a year before she can get pregnant. My wife stopped for 2 months and BAM! Of course it could just be me being overly potent....:D
 
Last edited:
Top